1 00:00:03,067 --> 00:00:05,089 Burn! Burn! Burn! 2 00:00:05,158 --> 00:00:07,657 Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn! 3 00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:08,790 Burn! Burn! Burn! 4 00:00:08,859 --> 00:00:10,959 Hey! Burn, burn! Burn! 5 00:00:11,028 --> 00:00:12,487 Yeah, cool. What are you guys burning? 6 00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:14,241 Bunch of garbage 7 00:00:14,242 --> 00:00:15,794 and burns the tar that's just taking up space. 8 00:00:15,862 --> 00:00:17,061 No, goddamn it! 9 00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,151 Wait, Frank, why are you burning our photo album pictures? 10 00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:20,949 What do you mean? Because it's trash. 11 00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:23,244 You kidding me? Oh, my God! 12 00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:24,883 Dude, these are all the pictures 13 00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:27,348 from our Jersey Shore vacations. You were gonna burn these? 14 00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:27,981 Yeah. 15 00:00:28,050 --> 00:00:29,751 These were, like, the happiest days of our lives. 16 00:00:29,819 --> 00:00:31,555 Oh, come on, Jersey Shore sucked. 17 00:00:31,623 --> 00:00:32,622 The Shore didn't suck, Frank. 18 00:00:32,691 --> 00:00:33,523 You sucked, okay? 19 00:00:33,592 --> 00:00:36,026 You just complained the whole time and ruined it for everyone else. 20 00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,594 Yeah, because I had to do all the work. 21 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:38,563 I never got to relax. 22 00:00:38,632 --> 00:00:39,731 I would love to go on a vacation. 23 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,966 Oh, my God, me, too. 24 00:00:41,034 --> 00:00:42,200 I would love to go on a vacation. 25 00:00:42,269 --> 00:00:43,803 Yeah, but not to the Jersey Shore, though. 26 00:00:43,872 --> 00:00:45,471 I mean, that place sounds like a nightmare. 27 00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:46,973 What's wrong with the Jersey Shore? 28 00:00:47,041 --> 00:00:48,574 Come on. You've seen that TV show. 29 00:00:48,642 --> 00:00:51,142 It's just a bunch of sweaty Guidos getting hopped up 30 00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:53,244 on energy drinks and giving each other diseases. 31 00:00:53,313 --> 00:00:55,179 Yeah, no, the Jersey Shore is nothing like that. 32 00:00:55,247 --> 00:00:57,650 It's a magical place where people swim in the ocean and 33 00:00:57,718 --> 00:01:00,488 they get to ride on fun rides and they get to have their first kiss. 34 00:01:00,557 --> 00:01:01,622 Dude, you would love it. 35 00:01:01,691 --> 00:01:02,524 Well, hang on a second. 36 00:01:02,592 --> 00:01:03,458 I've never seen the ocean. 37 00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:06,462 I could get into that if you guys want to go down to the Shore. 38 00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:06,996 Aw, yes! 39 00:01:07,065 --> 00:01:07,630 Yes! 40 00:01:07,699 --> 00:01:09,232 We should all go to the Shore together. 41 00:01:09,301 --> 00:01:09,934 I'll tell you what. 42 00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,336 Maybe I'll knock myself out and we'll head down to the Shore. 43 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,305 Yeah, but I feel like you're just gonna screw it up if you 44 00:01:14,373 --> 00:01:15,239 try and knock yourself out. 45 00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,143 Yeah, you're probably gonna come to halfway there, and then 46 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,277 complain the rest of the time. 47 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:19,412 Yeah, I'll tell you what. 48 00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:21,981 Why don't I take the rag, I'll get the chloroform, I'll get you 49 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,383 when you least expect it. 50 00:01:23,453 --> 00:01:24,351 All right, sweet. 51 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:24,953 Yeah? 52 00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:26,989 Yeah! Goin' down to the Jersey Shore! 53 00:01:27,058 --> 00:01:28,724 Yeah, going to the Shore, baby! 54 00:01:28,792 --> 00:01:30,625 Now, this ocean, explain it to me. 55 00:01:30,694 --> 00:01:32,460 It's, like, it goes on forever? 56 00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:34,095 Go to sleep, go to sleep. 57 00:01:35,098 --> 00:01:45,678 Sync and corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 58 00:02:01,296 --> 00:02:03,073 So, I woke up, like, halfway there, and then you just 59 00:02:03,173 --> 00:02:04,518 snuffed me out again, huh, Mac? 60 00:02:04,638 --> 00:02:06,938 Oh, this place turned into a major shithole. 61 00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:09,652 It does not look exactly the way I remember it looking. 62 00:02:09,772 --> 00:02:11,438 No, no, it's different, it's different. 63 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:13,974 The guy at the front desk said there was meth lab explosion, 64 00:02:14,043 --> 00:02:14,908 so the hotel burned down. 65 00:02:14,977 --> 00:02:16,009 They had to rebuild it. 66 00:02:16,078 --> 00:02:16,743 Something like that. 67 00:02:16,812 --> 00:02:18,250 There's a smell, too, like... Don't sweat it, you guys. 68 00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:20,678 Listen, with any luck at all, we won't be spending any time 69 00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:22,204 here, so just think of it more like a locker. 70 00:02:22,324 --> 00:02:22,989 Yes! 71 00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,827 I'm sorry, is no one gonna talk about Dee's hair? 72 00:02:25,947 --> 00:02:26,912 Oh, I was waiting to pounce. 73 00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:28,380 I just didn't know what our cue was. 74 00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:30,349 Yeah, I was waiting for Dennis to jump on top of it. 75 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,617 And then we were gonna slay her. 76 00:02:31,686 --> 00:02:32,184 Yeah. 77 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:32,818 No, no. It's fine. 78 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,619 All the cool girls get their hair braided at the Shore. 79 00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,154 I think she looks like Bo Derek. 80 00:02:36,223 --> 00:02:36,821 Thank you, Dennis. 81 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:39,457 Mm-hmm. You see, Dee and I have some very fond memories of the Shore. 82 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,560 We're not gonna have you sullying those great memories 83 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,561 with all your goddamn insults. 84 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:43,195 Mm-mm. 85 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,329 Are you drinking sunscreen? 86 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,597 No, no, it's a decoy. 87 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,900 We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles. 88 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:50,969 Very strict open container laws here at the Jersey Shore. 89 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:54,407 Cheers. 90 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,142 Holy shit! 91 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,444 Is that the ocean?! 92 00:02:58,513 --> 00:02:59,078 Yep. 93 00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,580 Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean. 94 00:03:00,649 --> 00:03:02,949 What's on the other side of it there? 95 00:03:03,018 --> 00:03:03,850 Europe. 96 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:04,585 Yeah. 97 00:03:04,653 --> 00:03:05,919 Now, how long would it take...? 98 00:03:05,988 --> 00:03:07,287 Do not try and swim to Europe. 99 00:03:07,356 --> 00:03:07,821 No. 100 00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:08,722 Don't swim to Europe? 101 00:03:08,791 --> 00:03:09,289 Do not. 102 00:03:09,358 --> 00:03:11,459 As a matter of fact, why don't you stick with Dee and I 103 00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:13,861 because we can show you the ropes here at the Jersey Shore. 104 00:03:13,930 --> 00:03:16,164 All right, everybody, you know what time it is! 105 00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:17,999 Let's go strut the beach. 106 00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:19,134 Not strutting shit. 107 00:03:19,202 --> 00:03:20,268 No beach strutting for me. 108 00:03:20,337 --> 00:03:22,137 I'm gonna find a place to relax and unwind. 109 00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,005 Frank, I'm with you. 110 00:03:23,074 --> 00:03:23,939 Yeah. 111 00:03:24,008 --> 00:03:25,507 Why don't you grab us some booze? 112 00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:27,876 I'll go down to the beach and get us some prime real 113 00:03:27,944 --> 00:03:29,678 estate before those gorilla dickheads get down there. 114 00:03:29,746 --> 00:03:31,713 Yeah. Gonna relax. 115 00:03:31,781 --> 00:03:32,780 Let's do it! 116 00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:34,548 Let's get out of here. 117 00:03:34,617 --> 00:03:38,285 Oh, man, this ocean breeze feels so good on my scalp. 118 00:03:38,354 --> 00:03:39,219 Yeah, it feels awesome. 119 00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:41,121 The sand feels good beneath my feet. 120 00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:41,655 Uh-huh. 121 00:03:41,724 --> 00:03:44,758 I'm a little curious as to where all the people are, though. 122 00:03:44,826 --> 00:03:45,492 No idea, no idea. 123 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,460 Didn't want to say anything, didn't want to ruin the mood, 124 00:03:47,529 --> 00:03:48,395 but where are the people? 125 00:03:48,464 --> 00:03:50,097 I'm seeing a lot more dogs than people, right? 126 00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:52,198 There are a shit-ton of dogs out here, I tell ya. 127 00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:53,133 Where are their masters? 128 00:03:53,201 --> 00:03:54,668 I don't think these dogs have masters. 129 00:03:54,736 --> 00:03:56,603 I think these dogs play by their own rules. 130 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,538 Well, clearly, the action has shifted elsewhere. 131 00:03:58,607 --> 00:03:59,839 Want to go to the boardwalk? 132 00:03:59,908 --> 00:04:02,209 Hey, let's go to the boardwalk! 133 00:04:02,278 --> 00:04:02,843 Yes! 134 00:04:02,912 --> 00:04:03,877 Yeah! Hey, Charlie! 135 00:04:03,946 --> 00:04:04,511 Charlie! 136 00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:05,512 Come here! 137 00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:08,849 Dude, oh, my God, this place is amazing! 138 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:09,549 Right? 139 00:04:09,618 --> 00:04:10,216 Yeah! 140 00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:11,351 And the sun block drink? 141 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:12,653 Nice, guys. 142 00:04:12,721 --> 00:04:13,487 They're really good. 143 00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:14,221 They're really good. 144 00:04:14,289 --> 00:04:17,390 Thing is, I didn't make you one. 145 00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:19,392 Oh! Jesus Chris, Charlie! 146 00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:20,860 You're drinking sun block. 147 00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:23,062 It's good. It gets you, it gets you all. 148 00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:25,665 Yeah, you're ingesting viscous chemicals, and they're getting you high. 149 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:26,199 Doesn't matter. 150 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:26,799 Doesn't matter. 151 00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,802 Okay, we're going to the boardwalk. What do you say? 152 00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:29,435 Oh, really? 153 00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:30,369 You want to leave? 154 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:30,970 Yeah. 155 00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:33,840 I feel like we're just scratching the surface of all the cool shit out here. 156 00:04:33,908 --> 00:04:34,941 What cool shit? 157 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:38,778 Well, the sea specimens, the stray dogs, the trash that 158 00:04:38,847 --> 00:04:40,413 floated over from Europe. 159 00:04:40,482 --> 00:04:43,750 Yeah, but we didn't come here to play with stray dogs and trash, man. 160 00:04:43,818 --> 00:04:45,685 We came here to soak up the culture. 161 00:04:45,754 --> 00:04:47,921 And the boardwalk is the cultural center of the Jersey 162 00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,022 Shore, so let's go there. 163 00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:49,890 Come on, man! 164 00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:50,958 Yeah, all right. 165 00:04:51,026 --> 00:04:53,293 Goin' to the boardwalk. 166 00:05:01,136 --> 00:05:05,907 Yo, Mac, you see that sign there that says "Taxic spill"? 167 00:05:05,976 --> 00:05:07,008 Yeah. 168 00:05:07,077 --> 00:05:08,143 What's that? 169 00:05:08,212 --> 00:05:08,977 Disregard that, Frank. 170 00:05:09,046 --> 00:05:10,613 It's a bunch of liberal bullshit. 171 00:05:10,682 --> 00:05:11,380 Right, right. 172 00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:12,582 This is a nice spot. 173 00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:13,950 Yeah, yeah. Whoa! 174 00:05:14,018 --> 00:05:15,184 What's that? 175 00:05:15,253 --> 00:05:16,919 You were supposed to get booze. 176 00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:19,555 Oh, this is ham soaked in rum. 177 00:05:19,624 --> 00:05:21,391 It is loaded with booze. 178 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:24,427 Goddamn it, Frank, eating your drinks? 179 00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:25,594 That is genius! 180 00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:26,362 Ow! 181 00:05:26,430 --> 00:05:27,162 What? 182 00:05:27,231 --> 00:05:30,231 What the... What the... What is that? 183 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,166 Oh, yeah. 184 00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:32,500 I got stuck with a needle. 185 00:05:32,569 --> 00:05:33,634 Yeah, that's a syringe. 186 00:05:33,703 --> 00:05:35,669 Be careful. They are everywhere. 187 00:05:35,738 --> 00:05:37,871 The beach is full of syringes. 188 00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:38,638 Why is that? 189 00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:40,840 Well, we're in the steroid capital of the world, Frank. 190 00:05:40,909 --> 00:05:44,276 To be honest with you, as a man who works very hard to maintain 191 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:47,580 a certain level of physical excellence, I find shortcuts insulting. 192 00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:49,682 Now give me a piece of ham now. 193 00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:50,750 Hey, check that out. 194 00:05:50,819 --> 00:05:53,086 What the hell's a dog doing here? 195 00:05:53,154 --> 00:05:54,388 Hey, hey, get out of here! 196 00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,389 Get out of here! 197 00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:56,123 Get out of here! 198 00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:57,491 Goddamn dogs, I'm telling you, dude. 199 00:05:57,559 --> 00:05:58,959 The were lurking before, now they're swarming. 200 00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:02,229 I'm not sharing my ham with no dogs. 201 00:06:02,298 --> 00:06:05,699 I got a great idea. 202 00:06:05,768 --> 00:06:12,406 Hey, warm sun, cool ocean breezes, getting rip-shit on ham. 203 00:06:12,475 --> 00:06:15,009 Might you say we're getting "hammered." 204 00:06:15,078 --> 00:06:18,713 Oh, nice one. 205 00:06:18,781 --> 00:06:19,847 This is a great idea, Frank. 206 00:06:19,916 --> 00:06:21,015 Great idea. 207 00:06:21,084 --> 00:06:22,850 This is 90-proof ham. 208 00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:25,152 Screw you mutts! 209 00:06:28,858 --> 00:06:30,925 Get out of here, you bitch! 210 00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:31,893 Come and get it. 211 00:06:31,961 --> 00:06:32,694 Stupid dogs. 212 00:06:32,762 --> 00:06:34,629 We outsmarted those dogs, Frank. 213 00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:38,067 Dude, this is the boardwalk, man. 214 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,035 This is amazing. 215 00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:41,371 Yeah, it's a little bit more desolate than I was hoping it would be, but... 216 00:06:41,439 --> 00:06:42,138 Yeah, but that's okay. 217 00:06:42,207 --> 00:06:43,006 It's still really great. 218 00:06:43,074 --> 00:06:46,442 Oh, Charlie, there's all kinds of rides and games and opportunities to win 219 00:06:46,511 --> 00:06:46,976 stuffed toys. 220 00:06:47,045 --> 00:06:49,879 Yeah, man, the boardwalk is a blast, man. 221 00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:52,347 But it is under the boardwalk where the action really happens. 222 00:06:52,416 --> 00:06:53,015 Trust me, pal. 223 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:53,582 Oh, yeah? 224 00:06:53,650 --> 00:06:54,482 Yeah. 225 00:06:54,551 --> 00:06:56,051 Oh, what's down there? 226 00:06:56,119 --> 00:06:58,053 Oh, Charlie, come on. 227 00:06:58,121 --> 00:07:00,054 So under the boardwalk's where it's at? 228 00:07:00,123 --> 00:07:01,055 Yeah, man. 229 00:07:01,123 --> 00:07:02,723 This is gonna knock your socks off. 230 00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:05,325 You never know who you're going to run into, what they're gonna be doing. 231 00:07:05,394 --> 00:07:06,493 You love the bridge, right? 232 00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:06,994 Yeah. 233 00:07:07,062 --> 00:07:08,429 This is a lot like being under the bridge, I would think. 234 00:07:08,498 --> 00:07:09,296 It's way better than that. 235 00:07:09,365 --> 00:07:11,498 Under the boardwalk is a magical place, man. 236 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:13,867 I have a special place in my heart 'cause I had my first kiss down here. 237 00:07:13,936 --> 00:07:14,401 Mm-hmm. 238 00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:14,969 Did you? 239 00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:19,640 Oh, dude, all kinds of romantic shit happens... Oh, God! 240 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:21,375 Oh, God! 241 00:07:21,444 --> 00:07:22,609 Oh, no! 242 00:07:22,678 --> 00:07:24,378 No! No! No! 243 00:07:24,447 --> 00:07:25,646 No! What was that?! 244 00:07:25,715 --> 00:07:27,448 Two homeless guys banging each other. 245 00:07:27,517 --> 00:07:28,916 I saw, but why? 246 00:07:28,985 --> 00:07:29,817 That's not magical. 247 00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:30,585 That's not romantic. 248 00:07:30,653 --> 00:07:31,519 That's your idea of romantic? 249 00:07:31,588 --> 00:07:32,220 No! 250 00:07:32,289 --> 00:07:34,323 There are other kinds of romances that happen under here. 251 00:07:34,391 --> 00:07:36,158 I don't want to see anything else like that. 252 00:07:36,227 --> 00:07:37,126 You know what, I'm out of here. 253 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:37,994 'Cause you guys are perverted. 254 00:07:38,063 --> 00:07:38,695 You get out of here. 255 00:07:38,764 --> 00:07:39,696 You get out of here. 256 00:07:39,765 --> 00:07:41,064 You get out of here, Charlie. 257 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,733 Son of a bitch. 258 00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:53,443 Aw! 259 00:07:55,579 --> 00:07:57,346 Where's the beach? 260 00:07:57,415 --> 00:07:58,314 Frank, wake up. 261 00:07:58,383 --> 00:07:59,214 What? What's the matter? 262 00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,850 Where's the beach? 263 00:08:02,214 --> 00:08:04,447 Uh, I don't know. 264 00:08:04,515 --> 00:08:06,915 We're in the middle of the goddamn ocean! 265 00:08:06,984 --> 00:08:08,650 Yes, we are. 266 00:08:10,821 --> 00:08:11,920 What are we gonna do? 267 00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:15,156 Well, we're going to conk out for a while and let the current 268 00:08:15,224 --> 00:08:17,491 gently roll us back to shore. 269 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,161 Frank, the current is what brought us out here in the first place. 270 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:24,164 If anything, we should be paddling against it to get back to the beach. 271 00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:26,100 I'm going to pretend like I didn't hear that. 272 00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:29,269 Frank, Frank, we are no longer in relaxing mode. 273 00:08:29,338 --> 00:08:30,905 We are now in survival mode. 274 00:08:30,973 --> 00:08:33,907 Will you stop being so dramatic? 275 00:08:33,976 --> 00:08:35,977 Wait a minute. 276 00:08:36,045 --> 00:08:37,611 Wait a minute. 277 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,749 Where's the rum ham? 278 00:08:40,818 --> 00:08:42,084 Where's the rum...? 279 00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:43,619 Aw! 280 00:08:43,688 --> 00:08:45,020 Rum ham! 281 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,422 No, Frank, stay in the boat. 282 00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:47,124 Rum ham! 283 00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,225 Frank, stay in the boat. 284 00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:50,093 I want rum ham! 285 00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:52,429 I'm sorry, rum ham. 286 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:55,199 I'm sorry, rum ham. 287 00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:57,835 Oh, rum ham. 288 00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:03,205 Yeah, this is going to be great, right? 289 00:09:03,274 --> 00:09:03,873 Of course it is. 290 00:09:03,941 --> 00:09:08,477 Nothing like some good, innocent, wholesome, above-the-boardwalk fun to, uh, 291 00:09:08,545 --> 00:09:09,611 get us back on track. 292 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,013 Yes. Take a step back from the situation. 293 00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:13,781 Get a clearer perspective. 294 00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,583 Yeah, and then we'll plummet 20 stories and the rush will 295 00:09:15,652 --> 00:09:17,351 propel us forward into an awesome evening. 296 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:17,919 Yeah. 297 00:09:17,987 --> 00:09:20,922 And hopefully cleanse us of the horrifying events that we've just witnessed. 298 00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:24,392 These beads are really digging into my back. 299 00:09:24,461 --> 00:09:26,027 Wind... I don't know. 300 00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:27,529 I don't know if we should have come back here. 301 00:09:27,597 --> 00:09:30,565 I think we made a mistake, because we have so many memories... Oh, no. 302 00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:31,399 Is my hair stuck? 303 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:32,299 Yeah. 304 00:09:32,368 --> 00:09:33,334 It feels it's.... Yeah? 305 00:09:33,402 --> 00:09:34,301 Oh, yeah. 306 00:09:34,370 --> 00:09:35,069 Well, get it. 307 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:35,736 No. 308 00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,304 Get it out, because we're about to drop... Get it! 309 00:09:37,373 --> 00:09:39,839 Stick your hand... You think I'm going to stick my fingers into the machinery? 310 00:09:39,908 --> 00:09:41,641 Hey, hey, you down there. 311 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,477 Do not make it go, because my hair is stuck, and something 312 00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,411 terrible will happen. 313 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,312 Oh, that's really in there. 314 00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:47,680 Oh, you idiot, stop the ride! 315 00:09:47,749 --> 00:09:51,883 Don't make it fall! 316 00:10:03,263 --> 00:10:05,565 Ow! 317 00:10:09,938 --> 00:10:11,372 Hey. 318 00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:12,507 How you holding up, sis? 319 00:10:12,575 --> 00:10:14,375 Not well, Dennis. Not well. 320 00:10:14,444 --> 00:10:18,345 Do you have any id how horrifying it was to ride that back up to get my hair? 321 00:10:18,413 --> 00:10:20,380 Yeah, well, be thankful you got it back. 322 00:10:20,449 --> 00:10:22,115 I just want to get my scalp sewnack on and get the hell 323 00:10:22,183 --> 00:10:23,516 out of this miserable town. 324 00:10:23,584 --> 00:10:25,250 I'm starting to wonder what the hell we ever saw in this 325 00:10:25,319 --> 00:10:26,685 place, you know what I mean? 326 00:10:26,754 --> 00:10:28,353 I mean, look at this girl. 327 00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:29,787 What's her story? 328 00:10:29,856 --> 00:10:31,789 She's got a decent bone structure. 329 00:10:31,858 --> 00:10:33,290 She was probably very pretty when she was young. 330 00:10:33,359 --> 00:10:33,957 Yeah. 331 00:10:34,026 --> 00:10:37,094 Probably spent her summers here, lounging on the beach and scooping ice cream. 332 00:10:37,163 --> 00:10:40,063 But she didn't want her summers to end, so she got herself a fake I.D. and a 333 00:10:40,132 --> 00:10:42,266 push-up bra and started hanging out at the local bars. 334 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:43,000 Right. 335 00:10:43,068 --> 00:10:45,836 Developed a nasty coke habit, 'cause she loved the way it made her feel. 336 00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:46,770 Mm-hmm. 337 00:10:46,839 --> 00:10:50,741 Extreme highs gave way to extreme lows and she fell into a depression. 338 00:10:50,809 --> 00:10:51,908 Had herself a kid. 339 00:10:51,977 --> 00:10:53,710 Thought it would give her a sense of purpose. 340 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,945 And it did, for a while, until she started using again. 341 00:10:56,014 --> 00:10:56,779 Mm-hmm. 342 00:10:56,848 --> 00:10:58,915 And then social services came knocking at the door, and now 343 00:10:58,984 --> 00:11:01,317 the kid lives upstate with his grandparents, 'cause she can't 344 00:11:01,386 --> 00:11:02,685 take care of this kid. 345 00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:05,955 And here she is festering away in a one-bedroom apartment 346 00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:08,724 waiting for the HIV to turn into AIDS. 347 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,628 And wondering what the hell... You know I can hear you, right? 348 00:11:12,697 --> 00:11:13,429 Oh, sorry. 349 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,664 We were just using you as a metaphor, though. 350 00:11:14,732 --> 00:11:15,264 Yeah. 351 00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:16,966 We didn't mean anything personal. 352 00:11:17,035 --> 00:11:18,902 Don't sweat it. 353 00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:20,304 You're not that far off. 354 00:11:20,372 --> 00:11:21,438 Hey. 355 00:11:21,507 --> 00:11:23,875 Hey, baby. 356 00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,376 Jesus, are you seeing this? 357 00:11:25,444 --> 00:11:26,076 Mm-hmm. 358 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:28,379 God, even the doctors in this town are drug dealers. 359 00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:29,113 Oh, hey, wait. 360 00:11:29,181 --> 00:11:29,947 What are you doing? 361 00:11:30,583 --> 00:11:31,215 Who are you? 362 00:11:31,284 --> 00:11:31,983 Where did you come from? 363 00:11:32,051 --> 00:11:32,550 Get out of here. 364 00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:33,251 Drop it. 365 00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:33,985 No. Goddamn it! 366 00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:35,853 Goddamn you! 367 00:11:35,922 --> 00:11:36,754 I hate this town, Dennis. 368 00:11:36,823 --> 00:11:37,588 I hate this town. 369 00:11:37,657 --> 00:11:39,257 Okay, okay, all right, well calm down. 370 00:11:39,326 --> 00:11:40,091 It's understandable. 371 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,392 You are missing a piece of your scalp. 372 00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:42,193 Yeah. 373 00:11:42,262 --> 00:11:44,263 Sounds like you two could use a break. 374 00:11:44,331 --> 00:11:46,331 Want to come party with me and my friends? 375 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,566 Yeah. Yes. 376 00:11:48,635 --> 00:11:50,568 Mm-hmm. 377 00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:56,708 I'm so thirsty. 378 00:11:56,777 --> 00:11:58,343 Gargle some more water, bitch. 379 00:11:58,412 --> 00:11:59,144 I've been gargling. 380 00:11:59,213 --> 00:12:00,679 Well, don't snap at me. 381 00:12:00,748 --> 00:12:02,113 Well, quit acting so bossy. 382 00:12:02,182 --> 00:12:04,649 Okay, you know what, guy, we can't fight, all right? 383 00:12:04,718 --> 00:12:06,117 We're both very cranky. 384 00:12:06,186 --> 00:12:07,886 We haven't eaten in a very long time. 385 00:12:07,955 --> 00:12:09,454 I'm starving. 386 00:12:09,523 --> 00:12:12,857 Okay, all right, look, maybe I'll dive down there, I'll spear 387 00:12:12,926 --> 00:12:15,994 a tuna, I'll wrestle him on board and we'll feast. 388 00:12:16,063 --> 00:12:17,729 Boom, let's eat. 389 00:12:17,798 --> 00:12:19,431 All right, give me the knife. 390 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,333 I can't give you the knife. 391 00:12:21,402 --> 00:12:23,135 What? Why not? 392 00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:25,570 'Cause there may come a time when difficult decisions must be 393 00:12:25,639 --> 00:12:28,507 made, and I'd rather be the one with the knife. 394 00:12:28,576 --> 00:12:29,742 What difficult decisions? 395 00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:30,910 What are you talking about? 396 00:12:30,978 --> 00:12:33,946 You know, like things you do to stay alive. 397 00:12:34,015 --> 00:12:38,116 Are you talking about killing and eating me, Frank? 398 00:12:38,185 --> 00:12:40,718 All I'm saying is, that when you go into survival mode, it's 399 00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:42,687 every man for himself. 400 00:12:42,755 --> 00:12:45,255 You seem like you're in survival mode right now. 401 00:12:45,324 --> 00:12:49,393 Maybe I am, maybe I ain't, rum ham. 402 00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:51,828 Did you just call me rum ham? 403 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:54,898 Frank, Frank, we cannot be talking about killing and eating 404 00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,166 each other already, okay? 405 00:12:56,235 --> 00:12:57,267 Tell that to the rum ham. 406 00:12:57,336 --> 00:12:58,769 Stop talking about the goddamn rum ham. 407 00:12:58,838 --> 00:12:59,536 It should have been you! 408 00:12:59,605 --> 00:13:00,538 No! 409 00:13:00,606 --> 00:13:03,274 Jesus... 410 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:04,576 Oh, no! 411 00:13:04,644 --> 00:13:05,110 Uh-oh. 412 00:13:05,179 --> 00:13:06,378 You see what you've done? 413 00:13:06,447 --> 00:13:09,181 You've murdered us both, you son of a bitch. 414 00:13:09,250 --> 00:13:12,117 Oh, shit, what's that? 415 00:13:12,186 --> 00:13:13,452 It's a boat! 416 00:13:13,521 --> 00:13:14,186 It's a boat! 417 00:13:14,255 --> 00:13:15,054 We're saved! 418 00:13:16,924 --> 00:13:18,357 Is that an Italian flag? 419 00:13:18,426 --> 00:13:21,093 It's the Guidos. 420 00:13:21,162 --> 00:13:24,096 Guidos, we're here. 421 00:13:24,164 --> 00:13:27,132 Over here. 422 00:13:30,624 --> 00:13:32,158 Oh! 423 00:13:32,226 --> 00:13:33,992 No way. 424 00:13:34,061 --> 00:13:36,395 Charlie? 425 00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:39,097 Hey. 426 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,866 Oh, my God, what are you doing down here? 427 00:13:41,935 --> 00:13:43,901 Did you follow me all the way to the Jersey Shore? 428 00:13:43,970 --> 00:13:45,903 No! No, I swear. 429 00:13:45,971 --> 00:13:48,071 I'm just out here... but that's cool! 430 00:13:48,140 --> 00:13:50,207 Can you believe we're... That's like destiny! 431 00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:53,243 What... What's in your hand? 432 00:13:53,312 --> 00:13:54,311 Something stupid I found. 433 00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:55,346 No big deal. 434 00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:57,548 Can I see it? 435 00:13:57,616 --> 00:14:00,217 Yeah. 436 00:14:00,286 --> 00:14:01,519 Wow. 437 00:14:01,587 --> 00:14:03,688 That's really beautiful. 438 00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:06,992 I'll tell you what, I mean... I think that's a pretty rare 439 00:14:07,061 --> 00:14:09,728 one, but you can keep it if you want. 440 00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,130 Thanks, Charlie. 441 00:14:11,199 --> 00:14:12,599 Sure. 442 00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:17,169 So you going to insult me and walk away? 443 00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:19,637 Or, or what's going on here? 444 00:14:19,706 --> 00:14:22,806 No, I, um... I don't, I don't know, you know? 445 00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:25,909 I love the beach so much, and it's so beautiful. 446 00:14:25,977 --> 00:14:30,679 I could probably just hang out here for a little while. 447 00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:34,015 Cool. 448 00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:36,051 Just don't go under the boardwalk. 449 00:14:36,119 --> 00:14:38,753 Okay. 450 00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:42,457 Guys, this is Dennis and Dee. 451 00:14:42,526 --> 00:14:45,060 I told them they could roll with us tonight. 452 00:14:45,129 --> 00:14:46,729 Yeah, uh, hi. 453 00:14:46,797 --> 00:14:50,632 Yeah, we're, uh, looking forward to partying with you all tonight. 454 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:52,401 Does Bobby know about this? 455 00:14:52,469 --> 00:14:53,968 Don't worry, they're cool. 456 00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:55,036 Yeah. 457 00:14:55,105 --> 00:14:57,705 So, uh... what are we getting into tonight, you guys? 458 00:14:57,774 --> 00:14:58,706 Yeah! 459 00:14:58,775 --> 00:15:00,508 Just waiting for Bobby. 460 00:15:00,577 --> 00:15:02,510 Then we're gonna hit the liquor store. 461 00:15:02,579 --> 00:15:03,411 All right, cool. 462 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,913 Yeah, well, you can't have a party without liquor. 463 00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:05,613 That's right. 464 00:15:05,682 --> 00:15:06,280 So yeah. 465 00:15:06,349 --> 00:15:07,281 Let's hit the liquor store. 466 00:15:09,318 --> 00:15:11,752 Who the hell are these two? 467 00:15:11,821 --> 00:15:15,055 Well, you're Bobby, I guess. 468 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:18,960 Uh, we are just new acquaintances of your friend Stephanie over here. 469 00:15:19,029 --> 00:15:20,495 Harmless people. 470 00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:21,497 You guys cool? 471 00:15:21,565 --> 00:15:22,498 Yeah. 472 00:15:22,566 --> 00:15:26,201 Well, I hate to toot my own horn, but I am pretty cool, Bobby. 473 00:15:27,638 --> 00:15:28,570 Hit that. 474 00:15:28,639 --> 00:15:31,540 Yeah. 475 00:15:31,609 --> 00:15:33,675 And I can tell by the way you're staring at me that 476 00:15:33,744 --> 00:15:35,244 you're wondering if I'm cool, too. 477 00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:36,212 Ooh. 478 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,048 I'm just going to go ahead and nip that in the bud right now, so... 479 00:15:40,785 --> 00:15:42,351 Oh, shit. 480 00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:43,586 That does not taste like weed. 481 00:15:43,655 --> 00:15:44,587 It burns a lot. 482 00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:45,722 It's angel dust. 483 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:48,591 Angel... Dust. 484 00:15:48,659 --> 00:15:50,593 Embrace the night. 485 00:15:56,699 --> 00:15:57,632 What's over there? 486 00:15:57,701 --> 00:16:00,702 Just can't seem to get my mind off of you 487 00:16:04,141 --> 00:16:05,640 Beer, beer, beer, beer! 488 00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:07,642 All right, you guys ready to get it? 489 00:16:07,711 --> 00:16:08,643 Yes, yes! 490 00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:10,345 Let's go, let's go, let's go! 491 00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:11,946 No! 492 00:16:12,015 --> 00:16:13,148 Yeah! 493 00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:14,282 Wha...? 494 00:16:14,351 --> 00:16:15,650 What's happening? 495 00:16:15,719 --> 00:16:16,751 What's happening? 496 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:27,862 Vacation all I ever wanted vacation, had to get away 497 00:16:27,931 --> 00:16:29,965 Vacation meant to be spent alone 498 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:30,932 Hi! 499 00:16:36,907 --> 00:16:37,939 Drive! 500 00:16:38,008 --> 00:16:38,840 Drive now! 501 00:16:38,909 --> 00:16:40,175 You! Drive! 502 00:16:40,244 --> 00:16:41,176 Drive! 503 00:16:41,245 --> 00:16:42,310 Drive! 504 00:16:42,379 --> 00:16:44,646 Drive! 505 00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:48,517 Thanks, man. 506 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:53,055 Thanks, bro. 507 00:16:53,124 --> 00:16:53,956 Hurry it up. 508 00:16:54,025 --> 00:16:54,991 Hurry up! 509 00:16:55,059 --> 00:16:58,728 Hurry up! 510 00:16:59,898 --> 00:17:00,830 Oh, my God! 511 00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:01,832 Shut her up! 512 00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:02,833 You pick him up. 513 00:17:02,901 --> 00:17:03,500 Okay! 514 00:17:03,569 --> 00:17:04,167 Pick him up. 515 00:17:04,236 --> 00:17:04,835 Pick him up? 516 00:17:04,904 --> 00:17:06,771 Go get him! 517 00:17:08,508 --> 00:17:11,843 Vacation, all I ever wanted Vacation, had to get away 518 00:17:11,911 --> 00:17:13,844 Rum ham! 519 00:17:18,916 --> 00:17:22,718 Vacation, all I ever wanted Vacation... 520 00:17:22,787 --> 00:17:24,687 Dig, come on, dig! 521 00:17:25,756 --> 00:17:26,588 Dig! Hurry up! 522 00:17:26,657 --> 00:17:27,355 Dig! Shut up! 523 00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:28,356 Shut up and dig! 524 00:17:30,427 --> 00:17:31,359 Bobby! 525 00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:32,394 Shoot 'em! 526 00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:34,797 Shoot 'em! 527 00:17:34,866 --> 00:17:42,572 ... had to get away, vacation, meant to be spent alone 528 00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:50,114 Vacation, all I ever wanted Vacation, had to get away Vacation, 529 00:17:50,183 --> 00:17:52,951 meant to be spent alone... 530 00:18:01,894 --> 00:18:03,761 Oh, my God, Charlie! 531 00:18:03,829 --> 00:18:04,761 Hey. 532 00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:05,762 What a night. 533 00:18:06,732 --> 00:18:09,365 What the... Did you rape me last night? 534 00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:11,367 What? No. 535 00:18:11,435 --> 00:18:12,368 Gross, no! 536 00:18:12,436 --> 00:18:17,507 Then... Okay, why am I waking up next to you on a deserted beach? 537 00:18:17,576 --> 00:18:19,509 'Cause we fell asleep here last night. 538 00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:21,011 What's going on with you? 539 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:25,416 Oh, my God. I was... I was on Ecstasy last night, Charlie. 540 00:18:25,484 --> 00:18:27,719 You have to tell me everything that happened. 541 00:18:27,787 --> 00:18:29,788 Oh! 542 00:18:29,856 --> 00:18:31,990 Boy, you're really off the wagon, huh? 543 00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:34,026 Drinking, drugs... Oh, my God. 544 00:18:34,095 --> 00:18:35,561 Well, it was a cool night. 545 00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:38,464 I mean, we laughed, we collected sea specimens, we drank some 546 00:18:38,532 --> 00:18:41,367 ocean, you got a little sick from drinking the ocean. 547 00:18:41,436 --> 00:18:42,368 I loved it, though. 548 00:18:42,437 --> 00:18:44,770 That sounds really weird and gross. 549 00:18:44,839 --> 00:18:46,939 Oh, really? 550 00:18:47,007 --> 00:18:48,941 Well, I suppose now you think this is weird and gross. 551 00:18:49,009 --> 00:18:51,209 Oh my God, Charlie, come on! 552 00:18:51,278 --> 00:18:53,378 What? 553 00:18:53,446 --> 00:18:55,380 Hang on a second, where you going? 554 00:18:55,449 --> 00:18:56,548 Uh, let's see. 555 00:18:56,617 --> 00:18:59,284 Last night I lived out one of my actual nightmares. 556 00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:01,286 So I'm going to go, and take a shower. 557 00:19:01,355 --> 00:19:02,287 Well, hang on. 558 00:19:02,356 --> 00:19:04,256 Hang on a second. 559 00:19:04,325 --> 00:19:06,225 I suppose you want this back. 560 00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:07,226 What is that? 561 00:19:07,295 --> 00:19:08,227 That's a jewel you gave me. 562 00:19:08,296 --> 00:19:10,129 You said you wanted me to have it. 563 00:19:10,198 --> 00:19:13,032 Charlie, that's a piece of a broken glass bottle. 564 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,267 All right. 565 00:19:14,335 --> 00:19:16,269 Well, maybe I'll see you Friday or something. 566 00:19:16,338 --> 00:19:17,270 No! 567 00:19:17,338 --> 00:19:19,538 No! 568 00:19:19,607 --> 00:19:20,706 Okay. 569 00:19:20,775 --> 00:19:22,841 Hmm. 570 00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,411 I guess that's just summer love. 571 00:19:25,479 --> 00:19:27,546 Crazy. 572 00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:30,115 Bro, our night was way more amazing. 573 00:19:30,184 --> 00:19:31,016 And it actually happened. 574 00:19:31,085 --> 00:19:32,518 What do you mean, it actually happened? 575 00:19:32,587 --> 00:19:33,352 Why do you keep saying that? 576 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,953 You don't think I spent the night with the waitress? 577 00:19:35,022 --> 00:19:35,620 No! 578 00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:37,022 Then where'd I get this, dude? 579 00:19:37,090 --> 00:19:37,722 Where'd I get that? 580 00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:40,725 I assume you got it out of the trash, or dug it out of a storm drain somewhere. 581 00:19:40,794 --> 00:19:44,495 I don't believe you're not... Whoa! Here they come. 582 00:19:44,564 --> 00:19:46,497 Okay. All right. 583 00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:47,498 Everyone get in the car! 584 00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:48,166 Go, let's go! 585 00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:48,866 Get in the car! 586 00:19:48,935 --> 00:19:49,767 Come on, come on, come on! 587 00:19:49,836 --> 00:19:50,988 Guys, you will not believe the night we had! 588 00:19:51,108 --> 00:19:53,614 I don't care, there is no meaning to life anymore. 589 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,587 It takes a classy man to admit when he was wrong. 590 00:19:55,707 --> 00:19:58,223 - And I was wrong. I love the Jersey Shore. - Oh, you love it? 591 00:19:58,343 --> 00:20:03,200 Oh, you love it so much here, get in the goddamn car, you fat fat ass, fat fat ass. 592 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,794 *** 593 00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,849 Oh, man, they talk awesome. 594 00:20:07,969 --> 00:20:10,360 I don't know why these guys get such a bad rep. It's pretty cool. 595 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:11,849 Let me tell you something, Mac. 596 00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:15,300 There are far worse people in Jersey Shore than the cast of The Jersey Shore. 597 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:18,767 It's a horrible town. It's a horrible town filled with horrible people. 598 00:20:18,887 --> 00:20:21,966 I don't know about that. I think it's a magical town. 599 00:20:22,086 --> 00:20:23,963 Hell yeah. 600 00:20:24,787 --> 00:20:26,636 Beautiful magical town. 601 00:20:28,674 --> 00:20:39,106 Sync and corrected by honeybunny